The RBO Herald

Published by Goblin (IPwn)

Welcome to the first addition of RBO news. We bring you up to date news so YOU'RE prepared. In today's edition we will be covering a plethora of topics:

Inquisitive Minds Want to Know

Melky's Rant- In the past, the Lacoste wearing fiend has duked it out with Sarkhan on a number of issues. This week, that hatred resurfaced as Melky clashed with Sarkhan on Yankees Practice and hacking. Melky was reportedly "irate" with Sarkhan when Sarkhan called the predominantly Latino team of Yankees "fagots", or as we say "Faggots". Melky then proceeded to write a large rant in his local newspaper to release his tears in an orderly fashion. This was then followed by calling someone a "fat paki bitch" in game. Though we can not release who he shouted these slurs at, the person is on team Lynx. Today, we are happy to have a specialist on the matter give us some insight on how this all started.
Me:Professor Fatjo, how are you today?
Fatjo:Im fat and I smell like poo.
Me: Very insightful Fatjo. We from RBO news thank you for being with us today. Can you please clear the air on this Melky vs Sarkhan issue?
Fatjo: I like mudkips.
Me: Alright I think we will have to cut this interview short, thank you Fatjo.

Breaking News:Melky is reportedly holding several lacoste shirts hostage. The color of these shirts are unknown and we will bring you more on this matter as more information comes in.

Brianr Has Disappeared...again- Brianr, who was reportedly on hiatus from RBO and instead amusing himself with World of Warcraft, made his triumphant return a few weeks ago when he submitted his hefty vote in for Empire council members. Many were ecstatic over the large mans return, some calling it a blessing. This event was short lived however, when he made his large debut in the Cinco De Mayo tournament. The obese Brianr was lit up like a pinball machine as home runs surfed as far as 500 feet. Brianr has since then vanished into fat air after giving his thoughts on the game. He reportedly told us that the game was laggy and that he couldn't hit his meter. Actually, the lag was so bad he ended up chugging bottles of hot sauce so he didn't punch his computer screen. Sadly, we haven't heard from Brianr since that tragic game but some still say they can hear his raspy voice when they are driving down a freeway filled with angry drivers.

The Second Generation of Tres Amigos - The Yankees have always been a team of diversity as well as having a healthy amount of Latino players. This was similar to the old team except we have some new faces. The first generation of Tres Amigos has been long gone and we have been searching for three fresh faces to fill their spots. No one will ever forget the legendary Tres Amigos of the Yankees which included Kidnasty(Funnyjo), Melkynyy(Shock), and Precision(Roberto). Their adventures from Walmart to Taco Bell had us all rolling. Sadly, the time has come for them to pass the torch onto a new Tres Amigos. These three scrappy dominicans include Edua, D1nonly2 and Phray. This new generation hopes to revive Tres Amigos and bring it into a new age of prosperity. These comics will be released on upcoming editions of RBO news in the "Comics and Funnies" section.

Current Rumors

The fifteen names - Similar to the Mitchell report, RBO had it's own unveiling of players that might have used E-steroids in the world of RBO. These E-steroids are also known as hacks. Below I will give my opinion on if each of these people are capable of hacking and if I think they are indeed hacking.

1. DrDeath - Do I even have to cover this one?
2. Oman - What? Oman? No way.
3. ConMan - Who the hell is Conman?
4. Newbert - This idiot couldn't even open Microsoft Word, let alone a hack.
5. Zack *not ZachAtack, the one who used to be on GearHeads) - Anyone with Zack in their name is retarded. That includes all variations such as Zach and Zakk.
6. DCurt25 - If there is a number in their name, they are most probably lame.
7. Edua - His house runs on Energy star and his computer has less memory than him. Due to financial reasons I rule Edua has NON-HACKER.
8. Hoodstar - Who the hell is Hoodstar?
9. Rubber - Cheapest undercover spy Netamin could afford.
10. JimmyJohn - If this is how he plays with hacks, I don't want to see how he'd play without them. I'd say let him keep them so it atleast gives him a fair shot at hitting the ball.
11. YardDog - ^^
12. K1llface - Reguardless of what a fail name he has chosen, I doubt he hacks. NOT KILLYFACEY!!!
13. rUafraid - Very possible. It seems rU has hit himself in the face with a brick one to many times then let a bunch of ants poke at his face. This mad man is out for revenge and revenge only. Don't let his signature of Brie dancing fool you.
14. Megatron - I hope not, otherwise I'm going to call Optimus Prime.

Video of the week: http://youtube.com/watch?v=hDa5G0czkTY

Retard(s) of the week: K1llerboy and Derailer

That about raps up this addition of RBO news. If you have any ideas, comments or questions, please do not hesitate to ask them ingame or PM them to me through the UBOFactor forums. My username is Steven. Thanks for reading and remember, it is your ideas and antics that fuel this newspaper.